Zero

I crave zeroes,
ones and zeroes
to set my life in motion.
If then else
will plot my direction.
Hash me starred –
it's an asterisk to learn
the and or unity.
But once I know
the when is between,
I can run.

hold steady

After all this time
I hold steady.
Dance or die
fuck or fly.
I know the words
and I hear the music
but they are no longer mine.

When the time is right,
I will make my own out of
moments and days
and sighs and shivers.
But until that time
I will hold steady.

Easy Dreamer

You wander, you waltz,
Bloodshot eyes and long, dark hair.
They don't understand
your aimless direction,
your song in the dark
with words about dawn.
No gravity, just momentum –
with every footstep you fly.

how do you want it?

How do you want love to be?
Do you want it to start as a ball of fire beneath your sternum,
spreading to every cell in your body,
incinerating your skin from the inside out,
making you into a burnt offering?

Or do you want love to be a tightness in your throat,
catching all your muscles and tendons and ligaments
until your entire body clenches
and all your insides become outsides?

Let me tell you how I want love to be.
I want love to whisper across my cheeks
and blow back my hair.
I want love to tickle my neck
and breasts
and thighs
and toes.
And then I want love to pick me up and throw me
so high
that I breathe ozone
and see stars.

sunned in

Dies iræ! dies illa
Solvet sæclum in favilla …
Quid sum miser tunc dicturus?

You stare at me
through layers of bodies
and the cold intensity of your eyes
tells me more than their
shouted whispers and
frantic touches.
And I would wither and fade to hear your words in my ears.

Your stare is a fist across my jaw
fire on my face
blood in my mouth
and gravel on my back.
If this is the war you're making
then I would bleed and burn to feel you on my skin.

I watch women rub against you
trying to make a wish on your magic lamp
and they believe your early morning laugh
and sunned-in smile.
but I see the truth in your teeth and venom
and I would die to feel you in my veins.

breathe

Breathe and smile
in this place where
fire meets water
and dances to the rhythm of
our ancestral hymns.

Breathe and laugh
in this place where
blood and teeth
and tears and sweat
dance and sing the words of
our ancestral hymns.

Breathe and shout
our ancestral hymns
in this place where
fire and blood quench
water and tears
all in the space of
a single smile.

fly away

How can you breathe when
love is fire and sweat
and clammy palms
on aching desire
and when kisses are
ashes and moonshine?
Close your eyes and fly away
to a place where
touches are anthems
and bodies are symphonies
swaying to the rhythm
of the ancient vibrations.

Wandering

You only come in your grief and wanderings
But you never seek what is within.
Your eyes are searching
beyond the walls and the fields,
past the forests and the mountains and the rivers.
And everything I can tell you
falls short of your ears.
And everything I can give you
lies untouched at your feet.
So "Leave," I say.
"There is nothing here for you."
And so you go
having touched nothing in your stay.
Yet my house is empty
and I can only sit
and wait for your return.

lonely

Loneliness is beautiful
but only under moonlight
on a balcony
and seen at a distance.

She watched him watching her
a star
flickering in the night
so he would not be alone.

She tried to help
for what is distance when loves travels at the speed of light
but even loves dies in a black hole
and she could only watch his attempts,
his desire,
his need to self destruct.

And she could see,
even from millions of miles away,
what the earth really is:
a place of grisly loneliness
where hope goes to die.

dead

You think you are dead
But the darkness that surrounds you
Is not a grave.
The weight that suffocates you
Is not dirt.
So open your eyes
And take a breath.
You're Alive.